Believe it or not, this is the first time I am toilet training my kids. My 3rd and 4th child.
The elder two were entirely trained by their full-day childcare teacher, which is something prevalent in Singapore. Many of us full-time working mum outsourcing teaching of life skills to teachers, such as using the potty and feeding themselves.
Now that I am a stay-at-home mum, I have the opportunity to oversee this training all by myself. I decided to go slow. There is no rush toilet training them since we are at home most of the time, though I should be minimizing the use of disposable diapers as much as possible. Oh yes, we use the washable cloth diapers at times too.
The Start
I am documenting my experience in parts because we are really taking a long time, and I may forget the details.
I introduced the tots the potty-training seat when they were 18 months old. We are using the same seat until today. It is a detachable and foldable training seat over our standard toilet bowl, with built-in steps to help the tots climb up the toilet seat by themselves. When not in use, we can easily remove the training seat, fold it halfway to conserve space.
You can get this training seat from the link here*.
The first couple of months were merely getting them accustomed to relieving themselves on the toilet seat.
The chair was not permanently fixed onto the toilet bowl and could be removed easily. Thus it was a little unstable for the tots, and they could not independently move up the seat. It was, in fact, slightly frightening for them, and it took me a few trials to convince them to pee seated down.
However, as I was not consistent with their practice. After they turned 2 years, I decided to put in more effort. But because we would be on a long trip in June, I decided to hold back the increase in intensity until we returned to Singapore to avoid confusion.
After The Tots Turned Two
We started to encourage them to use the potty daily and celebrated each successful attempt. No incentive for using the toilet though, I was in no hurry. Thus there was no need for bribes.
I bought a dozen of training pants*. They wore the pants in the day, and only after they pooed. For a start, they peed all over the house. The training pants are not meant to keep them dry and cannot hold a full pee. If the pants can hold a full pee, it would be akin to wearing diapers. The idea here is to let them leak, get wet, feel uncomfortable so that they will be encouraged to use the potty.
To encourage them to ditch the diapers, I told them that children do not wear diapers to school. I also pointed out that their elder sister, whom they love to emulate, does not wear diapers to school. She wears undies, just like the ones they are wearing now. And this really gets them motivated.
Things were progressing well for T1. As the more verbal one, she expressed her needs to use the toilet more readily than T2. So I thought she would be the first one to achieve her diaper-free status.
However, after wearing training pants for a month, she insisted on returning to her diapers. Refusal to accede to her demands would result in gut-wrenching wails. I surrendered and allowed her to do whatever she was comfortable with.
T2 unexpectedly transited into her training pants successfully after countless episodes of accidents. Today, with solid gross motor skills, she could set up the training seat and used the potty independently, and often without me knowing.
As usual, we would make a big deal out of it by calling the dad to announce her achievement or the grandmas who happened to phone us.
We did not pressurise T1 to follow T2’s footsteps. We merely told her of T1’s success and hoped for the day T1 regain her confidence in using the toilet.
The Next Step
Poopie Training?
I thought that the next big leap for T2 is to poopie train her. T1 tried to poop in the toilet once, and she refused to do so again the very next day. I am wondering if that was the reason for her digressive behaviour.
To my surprise, experts find poopie training before 3 years old a little too young, and there is no rush to push the little ones to get it done on the toilet bowl.
In fact, they are suggesting that if the tots refuse to use the toilet bowl, let them do it in their diapers and only diapers, in the bathroom. Let them know that pooping in their pants is not okay. They need to go into the bathroom, change into the diapers before getting on with their business. When the tots are done, throw the stools into the toilet bowl to remind them that poop goes into the toilet bowl. They are welcome to use the toilet bowl the next time if they wish.
When they are ready to get up the toilet bowl to complete their business, they will signal us, or maybe, we will not even know.
Diaperless Outdoor
The prospect of bringing the tots into the malls diaperless, with the possibility of having accidents in public is so daunting to me.
We have started small by visiting our neighbourhood playground in training pants. There has been no accident so far, finger crossed.
My next update on toilet training will be on the last leg of their potty training. Hope it will not take long!
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You may also be interested in the following:
Homeschooling the Tots – Farm Animal Theme
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